The anticipation before I depart to Germany is making me feel anxious. I created a countdown to remind me about the days I have left at home, but really it's just to remind me that each day passing by, gets me closer to my own adventure.I am constantly checking my classmates' blogs to see how they are doing and what experiences they are having. I'm happy for the 3 girls(Amanda, Katia and Julie) have made it safe and sound to their destination. I hope that those of us who are yet to leave (Gabrielle and I), have the same luck! As I read through their posts, I wonder what mistakes I will make (that also has me feeling anxious and a bit worried). Because I do tend to make mistakes, especially with directions. I usually get lost, and although I eventually find my way, the feeling of being lost does not make me feel good. However, I will try not to be pessimistic and I will prepare myself before I come across a possible mistake. On a brighter note, I am happy to say I have been working on my to-do-list I created on the previous post.
I have a job, I purchased my airplane tickets, and I applied for my student visa. Although it was NOT easy to accomplish none of these tasks, I'm getting through them. Back in December of 2014 and the beginning of January 2015, job hunting was not fun but now that I am getting a pay check every two weeks makes me feel secure. The airplane tickets were in my opinion, the best deal I could have gotten. I am happy with my purchase. I will be leaving Chicago on March 1st, and I will be arriving to Germany on March 2nd at 10am. Now, the process to apply for the student visa was the hardest task of my to-do-list. There were people who were rude throughout the process & I can't deal with rudeness well. I react defensively. But as of today, February 4th, everything is resolved and I should be getting my visa around February 23rd.
Now, since this is my blog and I can post about anything that I want, I'll share some deep thoughts going through my mind. The thought of me living in a different country without my family or friends is scary. I have been through this before. I moved from Mexico to the US when I was younger, and it was difficult to integrate into a new society and country. It took me a whole year to finally feel "comfortable" with my life again. However, now that I am older and it is actually my decision to go out and live in a different country....I feel like the process of getting used to Germany and its culture will be faster (at least I hope it will be like that). Besides, I am beyond excited to see new places, to meet new people, and to enjoy every moment.
What makes me even more excited about this experience is that I will be able to experience a different life where no one will know anything about me. I will know absolutely no one once I land in Frankfurt Germany. It's like I get a chance at life again and I'm in charge of how I will present myself in front of the new people I will meet. I will create a new life. By myself and then I will create memories and experiences with the people I will meet. Although it is nerve wracking to be all by myself I can't wait to just deal with everything that will come my way, either good or bad. I'll learn something out of each experience and that's exactly what this experience will be about...learning. Many students who study abroad talk about their experiences and how much they learn about themselves. In my opinion, I know myself well. I know the type of person that I am. Of course I'm not perfect. I have my own faults and I know exactly what they are. I may not always want to be around people, I may not always speak what's on my mind, I may not always do what's best for people. I may be selfish and just think of what's good for me. I am a slow learner. I take my time for everything. But, not everything about me is bad. I can promise anyone that I am worth getting to know. I am a good friend and a fun person to be around. People just need to give me a chance and actually get to know me. Everyday I try to be a better person, but bad habits die hard. So, what I do think I will learn while I'm abroad is how I will give myself a chance to create a new life. Who will be part of my new life and how I will take care of myself without a supporting system like family and long time friends. A challenge indeed. But, I can't wait! I'm ready for March 1st 2015.
